Forgiveness and redemption are core components of the Buddhist faith September 23 2018.
Lit up only by the light of my television, I sat there last night, on the edge of my sofa and tears poured down my face. It was more than seeing one of the greatest athletes that will ever grace this planet, find the courage to once again stand alone. It was more than seeing a man who bloated, intoxicated and riddled with shame crashed his car into a tree back in November 2009 lose the weight, lose the shame, find his swing and conquer. My tears were empathy.
I don’t have his major championships. I don’t have his millions of dollars. I don’t fly by private jet. But, I do have identification. I identify with the pain of playing at your best as a professional athlete only to lose your humility, the very thing that made it possible to dominate other men in such a competitive world. I identify with the death of your mentor and guide. your best friend.
I identify with those feelings only those who have fallen that low and been written off ,only to come again will understand. I identify with the brutal loneliness of fighting back from surgery, Those cold grey winter days, you the physios, the gym , another set, another rep, a vision deep inside of you back out there on the grass , adrenaline pumping, dominating those around you, the ONLY time your soul is truly fulfilled. I identify with the searching and searching for form. The doubters. The critics. The naysayers. I identify with the most brutal of mans battles. The truth of your soul v the dishonesty of the Ego I identify with that torture of seeing people replace you that you know deep down couldn’t live with you at your best.. I identify with the pain of a divorce. Not seeing your children every night . MOST OF ALL, ABOVE ALL ELSE, I RELATE TO THE SHAME THE COMPLETE AND UTTER SHAME OF THE PEOPLE I HURT AND THE SEXUAL ACTS THAT MADE LOOKING IN THE MIRROR UNBERABLE.
You see you can get it back physically, don’t get me wrong having had 3 hip surgeries, its tough, the hours, the discipline, the warm ups, the warm downs its tough. BUT TO RECOVER FROM SPIRITUAL BANCRUPTCY THATS A WHOLE DIFFERENT JOURNEY. TO HAVE TO REBUILD, REBOOT AND REALIGN YOUR BELIEF SYSTEM,TO TRY TO COMPREHEND THAT YOU CAN STILL WIN WITHOUT EGO, THAT ALL THAT EVER WAS WAS FEAR MASQUERDING AS A WINNER. TO STRIP IT ALL BACK AND BECOME THE CHILD, TEENAGER AND YOUNG ADULT YOU ONCE WERE WHEN YOU WALKED THE LINE BETWEEN GREAT PERFORMANCES AND A MORAL MAN…….WHEN YOU REALISE THAT SEX ADDICTION IS A REAL THING, NOT BRAVADO IN THE LOCKER ROOM THAT LIKE ANY ADDICT YOUR POWERLESSNESS OVER YOUR BEHAVIOUR RUINS SOULS AND HEARTS. THAT IN FACT YOU ARE A SOUL MURDERER.
That journey having walked it myself is brutal. But through the greatest of pain, led all along by the complete naturalness of your very being, you slowly grow back bigger than ever. Talent and gifts in tact, soul realigned, but, this time with an anchor of humility so strong that day at a time, the voices of escapism are quiet. NOT GONE…. QUIET.
In late 2009, women began coming forward about having had alleged affairs with Woods, who was married to Elin Nordegren at the time. The couple has two kids together. Over the next year, Woods’ life unraveled. And he used Buddhism to help him pick up the pieces. Woods also attended in-patient therapy to help with his infidelity and said Buddhism would help him find happiness within himself and not crave anything on the outside. Woods made a public apology in February 2010 to his wife, his fans, his family, and anyone else who believed in him for years. And during that speech, he explained that he had turned a blind eye to the Buddhist faith he’d been taught growing up. “I have a lot of work to do, and I intend to dedicate myself to doing it,” he said in the apology. “Part of following this path for me is Buddhism.” He said he lost track of what he was taught and began to crave things outside of himself, which led to a pointless search for security. He vowed to get back to his Buddhist roots to help heal.
“For 45 days from the end of December to early February, I was in inpatient therapy receiving guidance for the issues I’m facing. I have a long way to go. But I’ve taken my first steps in the right direction,” Woods said Woods grew up a Buddhist, and he was raised practicing the religion. His mother practiced Thai Buddhism, and he often attended Temple with her. He said his mother taught him the religion from a young age. Woods didn’t discuss his religion much during his professional career until his cheating scandal erupted. Woods also reportedly slept near a Buddha growing up that was given to him by his grandfather. Sports Illustrated reported in 1996 that he also wore a Buddha necklace. Buddhism uses practices like meditation as means of changing oneself to develop the qualities of awareness, kindness, and wisdom. There is no “creator god” worshipped in Buddhism. It encourages people to be fully responsible for their lives. “It’s based on discipline and respect and personal responsibility,” Woods once told Sports Illustrated. Woods’ mother was a Thai Buddhist, and she showed him the ways of the faith. In previous interviews, Woods credits both his mother and Thai Buddhism for helping him achieve the focus he needed on the golf course. He also said Buddhism has given him focus throughout his life. And, after a scandal erupted in late 2009, he has used Buddhism to help him with his serial infidelity.
EXTRACT FROM MY BOOK ” AND THEN WAHT..?” ( DUE FOR FRELEASE LATER THIS YEAR. A STORY OF MY 17 YEAR PLAYING CAREER. EGO. SELF BELIEF, DEPRESSION, NEEDINESS, CONSISTENCY AND MANY OTHER LAND MINES ON THE JOURNEY TO FULFILLMENT OF YOUR DREAMS)
‘Tiger Woods has it.’ They said, when he was playing in tournaments aged eight, surrounded my older boys. What? What is it that he has? ‘To be honest,’ he said, ‘I just wanted to destroy the field.’ Destroy is an aggressive word. I would think Adolf Hitler has a similar vision to destroy the world and civilisation as we know it. So technically, if you use words like ‘destroy’ you are going to be very, very misunderstood by most. How, as we grow up, do we deal with such an aggressive inner voice? Personally, I felt ashamed. I was made to feel bad about this desire. I was different and so I must be wrong. But, who are the judges and jury on what is right or wrong? They’re just mere mortals, like me and you. And guess what? These mortals have unresolved issues and ignorance. It has only been my complete destruction of my humanly formed ego and an extremely painful journey back to myself that has led me to really understand (not completely, but a good amount) myself. I have to pray and meditate regularly. I have to silence society and listen to my source. That voice can sabotage and has proven that it can sabotage in the past. When I hear sabotage my brain jumps straight to falling off the edge. Sabotage is to ‘deliberately destroy or wreck’. That word – deliberately. Deliberately to ‘consciously and intentionally’. Consciously – ‘in a way that is direct, perceptible to and under the control of the person concerned. And there we have it. Those with the ‘edge’, those who sabotage themselves when things are going well. If you really trust the process and study the words, you can end up back where you started; in control. The career had gone, the money gone, family gone and as I sat there I finally – finally – got the answers I’d looked for my whole life. I sat in a tiny single bedroom in a cottage deep in the Hampshire woods; my first night in a treatment centre for emotional trauma and damage. I had a sense of peace which I’d never experienced, even though everything seemed a mess. ‘All is well.’ The quiet whisper said. I listened to that voice, not with my ears, but with my heart and my instincts, my very essence. Finally, I was ready to become the man I was always meant to be. All the rabbit warrens I had run down for years and years only to hit another false alarm, another dead end. Finally, this path felt right. I was scared. I was so vulnerable, so naked. I realised that, that is how I came into this world and at 33, I had been led back to my very essence, my true self. I’m not going to say that since that cold, lonely September night , sat in that single bedroom with everything I owned in a duffle Bag laying at the foot of the single bed , that I skipped out of rehab and my life took off. I am human . I am perfectly imperfect. What I have today is an attachment to nothing. Only an attachment to that still quiet voice that will let me know if I’m off course. The course, the destiny of my gifts. We all have them. My greatest gift , is, ironically my biggest curse. My sensitivity. Daily I feel pain. I feel fear. I feel less than. I feel more than. I feel strong. I feel weak. I feel intelligent. I feel stupid. I FEEL. “ Life is suffering “ said the Buddha. The suffering? Is to be human. To FEEL. So what I have today is the awareness that all is well. When I speak publicly . When I walk into boardrooms to coach a senior management team, when I’m sat opposite a young talented athlete I just LET GO. I don’t let that gift yet curse of an inner voice start talking “ where are you going? “big opportunity this” “ do a good job here and …” “ you better do well today” “ you sure you’re good enough? ” ALL that inner chatter”
THAT IS WHAT MADE ME CRY LATE LAST NIGHT. THAT HERE IS THE GREATEST OF WARRIORS. THAT CAN TODAY WALK THE FINEST OF LINES. KNOWING HE’S UNTOUCHABLE AND SPECIAL YET KEEPING THAT CAGED ANIMAL ON JUST ENOUGH ROPE THAT HE ONLY EATS GOLF COURSES, RECORDS, OPPOSITION AND NOT HIS MASTER.